Scotty McCreery

American Idol has been an efficient platform for hopefuls.It launched careers of some good singers of the generation.Though there are really a handful of them,AI's ability to draw crowds of enormous number is undeniable. Just today, a total of 95 millions votes came in to decide who will be on the TOP 2 of Season 10. I's so glad that with that huge number, Scottie's vote was a big chunk and it brought him straight to NOKIA Center for the FINALE.

This Southern bird caught my attention since he hummed YOUR MAN ( by Josh Turner; who is by the way is awesome and hot). The deep southern tone is uniquely country. His charm is so breathtaking that he even made JLO gushed how he loved the country singer ( and that time I already consider him professional). With that deep voice comes a deeply-rooted belief of Family and God. And should I say, he made himself and All American Boy when he threw that baseball?

Week by week, I saw him keep things grounded and simple.

Starting Over

Labor Day and I have nothing in my mind except you! I don't know exactly what prompted or led me to thinking of you since there's nothing that relates labor day to you beside you being an employee.
So I would try to recollect.
I woke up 6:00 AM today to catch up some work in the office. I lost my access to a database that I cannot put in all my observations using a different log-in. And so I waited until it was reset .As expected,work filed up and my compliance is at stake.
I was in hurry, trying to complete an impossible tasks within the limits of 5 hours. If I have to observed 18 people, in at least 5 minutes and at the same time coach them, I have to be very creative to meet all ends.
With much enthusiasm and a few minutes to spare, I open up messenger before I even start my observations. Your name pop-out up and I can't wait to answer your messages since I have been waiting for a week to get some news from you.
When the database pulled up, I forgot about it and what's left is you.
I was lost since the time you left and it was heightened by what had happened to me this past weeks. When I felt betrayed by my family, I was hoping you were here because I k ow that nothing comes between us. A bad day turns good so suddenly that I forgot what it's all about in your presence. Not that my heart numbs every moment in our communing time, but because we can talk anything and you always have a piece of mind to share. And so I was left thinking of you on those times that My heart was broken into pieces and my mind can think of any rationale behind all the events that happened last week. I lost the appetite and motivation to work until I realize that I was only making it worse. Thanks for that phone call a week ago. I felt that I know someone is behind me. Not that I need someone to pamper me, it's just good to now that despite challenges of my relationship with my siblings ans parents I have someone to turn to; a face a could share my thoughts my feelings and even my frustrations.
Its labor day and I have all the energy to finish everything; every reports that needs 100% compliance and even if it was totally gone the moment I talked to you, I was able to comply.
That's your power over me. I get do hyped I don't even know I have done something great.
With you telling me to be sober and to re-focus, I know that I have all the means to start over.

O! My Concubines!

Enthroned

How lovely is a golden chair
And the red carpet
Resemblance of a warm welcome
Of kaftans and houte couture
I gleaned beyond the surface
And the glitters fade
With the lovely concubines
Kissing the king's feet

Blessed

A sorrowful moodembellish the air
and the bounty served
a silent threat
to the untamed and the virgins
I escaped with the speeding light
And the fading glitter-sight
And a damned queen
Laughing with the lovely concubines
Whispering the king goodbye

SWEET SURRENDER

for the light to surrender to the darkness

it needs the day's welcoming gentle breeze

and for the sun to set calmly in the east

it needs the west's warm and passionate caress

loving you is to surrender to my fantasy

of glitters that fade and passion that flickers

wicked and damned as usually i am

denying and not to admit i might surrender

in the warmth of your sweet embrace

GENERATION BUTTERFLY

******************************************
father,

i am radiating underneath this skin

-a burning flame in the heart;

i'll give you the worm lifeof this insect:

an ugly cocoon of doubt,and the unusual darkness of life.

father,

in these summer wings

i will tell you the tale of the rain.

that once the thundergod went down in his throne

to kiss my fragile face;

he promised me the moon love at night

and brought me stars in bed.

father,

i'll show you how to livea damn happy life

-a world of golden flowers in my sleep

and the fearless flight in my dreams.

***********************

crazy/addict

i easily get addicted on things i like; coffee, food, place, even friends. I have the same group of people I hang out with since I moved here in Cebu from Manila. I eat at the same carinderia since day one and I still like the same "utan bisaya",though I plan to move to another house until my contract expires.

i would admit that moving on or changing preference is a bit of a challenge for me.Oddly, despite my being ambitious, I am afraid to take on new roles, new challenges or new risk. I am comfortable staying in my zone.

so after 8 years and nearly 11 months in a relationship we have build and kept, I got a sudden burst to evaluate it! Am i questioning the status qou?

Sadly, I would admit I am.

When my partner left for the states for a greener pasture and to finally connect with some of his family members he has not seen for nearly, if not more than, a decade I was stunned. Not that I was not aware, but because I was afraid that one day, he would let things go as is without any hint of an effort to revive. He is skeptic that what we have is different from his parents. Not that I fault him for believing so since that was a reality, I just thought he could have been more positive about it!

For nearly three years now, I am wondering how he looks like. We have talked with cam just once when he has new colored hair ( that was cool.PINK!). He has not updated his pictures though he keep a blog I visited once in a while as a way of updating myself on things he's venturing into, on events he's enjoying and on plan's he is realizing!

He was my family! And while he has his family in the states, I have none! Though it is easy to think that your own country is a lot better, I wish I'm just a stone throw away from MD.

We used to argue on a lot of things!Even the simplest way, and we always have our own way to fix that!We would never sleep with our fight. Waking up every morning with him is wonderful and a morning kiss could just make my day brighter!

We used to enjoy the simplest of things together. SM is our wonderland. He likes malling and we converge in the viedeoke room. We like ice cream and karate kid or teriyake boy. But roasted chicken is just one of those heavenly delights. Ahh..we love the lemon grass chicken. We roast it ourselves with the help of ready to mix flavors!

We've been to break-ups!Twice! And it was the most painful break-ups I have had and good things we have patched things up!

I can go on counting and reminiscing the things we have shared and I would be lost in the counting process because we have a lot!

So why am I questioning the status qou?

Without a doubt, I was addicted to things we have shared and not doing it is like losing a dose of my own medicine!

I was addicted, and now I'm crazy!

i've never been hurt until yesterday

to keep quiet and resilient for 13 year did not make me any good.Maybe it just made my hopes and frustrations too high.

there's nothing as complicated as family and i'm sure that if everyone woud not agree, at least I would have the by end that yes, what hurt us most are the people we love most!

i value and love my parents and siblings in the most intangible and tangible ways. There's nothing that could compare or describe the dedication and support I have vowed to keep them from living the life they want. I have made ends met in my own discretion considering that they have not witness or at least notice it. Maybe, they thought I was strong as a bull or as knowledgeable as Einstein. I was hoping they could think that yes, I am human. I am not a vending machine that releases what they punched in and just replace it when I can't.

i earn my own damn stability and I thanked God for the person who have been there since time immemorial and the Divine Intervention who have guided me trod this path. If someone would throw a stone in my face, I never expected it to be my love ones. Surely, it made the matter worst.

I've never been so hurt until yesteday when all my love shattered and all that was left was a plea; to make me understand what faults I have done to deserve such judgement and treatment.

I am dying to know that despite the love and understanding I gave them for the last 13 years, why in a split second, I lost everything and they just throw it ll away.

Sadly, life has to go on even if inside I want it to stop!